Losing someone unexpectedly hurts. So god damned much. It never makes sense.
This week I lost a dear friend. He passed away in his sleep. He was far too young. I am struggling to process it. I feel so deeply for his young son, understanding the pain of losing your Father far too early. Something R also understood, losing his father some years ago too (his Father was my dace teacher and also had a profound impact on my life).
R was one of those friends who was just always there. We didn't need to see each other in person all the time. We didn't need to be in touch constantly. But he was there.
Some time ago when I was having a particularly hard time, he reached out to me. He shared his story with me, a lot of which I was not aware of. He shared it with me in the hopes that I would realise I was not alone. The things he told me, the things he helped me to understand about myself and about the world. and the fact that he was there at the right time no doubt helped save my life. So how do you ever thank someone for that? What can you do or say? Especially now that they are gone and you are not 100% sure that they knew just how important they were to you?
All I can do is make this promise. Here and now.
I am going to live the SHIT out of this life.
I am going to make sure my children know how much I love them, how proud of them I am, and they they are my world. Just like R did.
I am going to make music. As often as I can. Anywhere I can.
I am going to be authentically me. What you see is what you get. No BS. No pandering. No hiding.
I am going to make every minute count. After all, there are 525,600 of them every year, why waste a single one of them!
R, I am going to miss you. Terribly. My Facebook feed sure as hell isn't going to be the same withoiut your crazy posts, often hilarious, sometimes thought provoking, sometimes inciting an all out riot. But always putting a smile on my face.
Thank you. For everything.
NO DAY BUT TODAY.............
