Ten things not to say to a Mum of twins

This came up in conversation again today with a fellow twin Mum, so I decided to go back and find this list I wrote last year! I still stand by every single item on this list! 

Oh, and before you go "oh, but people are just being nice" NO!! Do you know, I once counted how many times I got told double trouble on a two hour trip around stockland? The total was 15. You tell me you wouldn't get sick of it!!!

10 While pregnant - "wow, you're massive! Are you sure there isn't three in there?". Thanks! My self esteem is sky rocketing!

9 "Are they identical? Yes. Cool! So it's a boy and a girl then?"........... I got nothing. Also, glad the pink tutus aren't a give away.

8 "Are they Twins?" Um........

7 "Two girls? Shame you didn't have one of each!" Sorry! I'd swap one for a boy but I lost the receipt.

6 "You must have your hands full!" Well, duh!

5 "You have an instant family now, you don't need to have any more!" Thank you stranger in the supermarket for decided we have enough children. 

4 "Are they natural?" No, they are aliens. Also, it's not any of your business how my children were conceived, random person in the car park.

3 "Twins? Hell no, I couldn't cope" and this is probably why I have them and you don't. (I also copped "twins? F%@K THAT! And would have punched them had they not been family).

2 "two for the price of one!". Nope, definitely two for the price of two. 

1 "double trouble" - no actually, I'm twice blessed, and luckier than you will EVER be.

A bedtime mugging

People (without children and most definitely without twins) often comment jokingly about how I dress the twins in matching clothing, usually because at some point I may have said I didn't want to do it all the time. Yeah, how nieve of me. 

The thing is, at two and a half these little girls are crazy intelligent, incredibly headstrong and stubborn, fiercely independent and a little crazy. Not at all like me. 😉

Why do I dress them alike most of the time? Here is tonight's example. 

All of their flannelet pyjamas are in the dryer so I grabbed warm shirts and leggings out of the drawer. Unfortunately we have a pair of stripy leggings and a pair of star patterned leggings. Which S wore the stars and B wore the stripes without a second glance last night. But tonight, oh no! Because who the hell would wear star print leggings to bed? Stripes are where it's at!! Stars are the plague!! Which of course was discovered after I had put the stripes on S. And then all hell broke loose.

After pulling some impressive wresting maneuvers ( I knew watching Steve Irwin all those years ago would pay off) I managed to shove B into the red star leggings of death and got them into bed. Four stories, two cups of water, 7 teddy bears, a chocolate biscuit bribe and a million sloppy kisses later, I think we are in business and it's time for sleep. 

I had to go in about an hour later (after complete silence that lulled me into a false sense of security, long enough to pour a glass of wine and get comfy on the couch to bag everyone out on The Voice) because of the high pitched murder screams coming from underneath the door. 

I walked in to find S sans pants (and nappy, but that's a whole other story) and a very please with herself B sitting on the bed wearing the stripy pants, backwards and inside out. And displaying the red star leggings proudly on her head like a sick warning to other patterned leggings to not enter the area at any cost. 

My 2.5 year old had mugged her twin sister for her pants. 

And THIS is why I dress them the same when I can. Not because it's cute (which it TOTALLY is), not because I'm lazy. Not even because they like it. But because if I don't, someone is gonna lose a limb. 

And next time someone makes a comment about it, they might too. 

Now I've missed the voice, so more wine and Jaws 2 is in order. Maybe I'll learn how to treat large bites in readiness for the next installment of wardrobe wars. 

#gonnaneedabiggerwardrobe