The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts

Today was a pretty uneventful day. 

Except for the anxiety that creeps in when you least expect it. 

Phone calls being yelled at about an issue that has nothing to do with you don't help and are not a nice way to start the day. Follow that up with being yelled at by two NBN workers for pulling up their cable (which was pulled up by other NBN workers and has nothing to do with me) and I'm not starting the day on the right foot. 

But I'm learning the tools to overcome this. 

Some of the things that are helping me at the moment are:

Writing in my journal every morning

(Thanks Mum for the brilliant gift!)

Doing small things that help me feel in control, like making my bed every morning has now become a habit and makes me feel like I can actually do this adulting thing! 

Stopping and breathing when the anxiety takes hold. Reasoning with myself when my thoughts stray to self bullying. Reminding myself over and over that I am a wonderful human being and deserve a wonderful life. 

I conquered my anxiety several times today. And I'm bloody proud of myself. 

I refuse to bully myself anymore and will not tolerate negative self talk any longer.

Parenting today was interesting. We started off the day with a fist fight over a boiled egg and the day continued much like that. S was the ringleader of the trouble today, not letting B sleep, poking baby F while he napped in his bouncer, stealing her sisters snacks, drinking my juice, jumping on the bed, trying to ride the dog, experimenting with my high heels and generally being a rat bag. 

But then at bedtime she throws herself at me, wraps her pudgy arms around my neck, plants three sloppy kisses on my face and yells ecstatically I UV OOO! And all is forgiven. Cheeky bugger. 

Although the other clear highlight of the day was when I was having my shower and B comes tearing in on her Dora Car, bangs on the glass, points and screams BOOBIES before doing a u-turn, honking the horn and exiting with a wave over her shoulder reminiscent of her name sake, my late father. Makes a nice change from the toilet brush karaoke of the three days prior.........